Women making AND breaking the rules…Part 2

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All of my lady followers out there are probably thinking that I’m some sort of woman that really wants to be a man. After all there are a few posts on this blog that completely tear down women and honestly, if you don’t want to be here please leave. I’m not an exception to any rule I just choose to be completely honest about what’s really going on with those of us that have vagina’s.

So I compiled a list of 5 rules that we as women make and break every single day. Some of us are aware that we are doing it because we are superior creatures and are awesome at it. Other women have no clue that they are making and breaking rules simply because that’s all they really know and they have dumb shit written across their forehead.

Off we go!!!!!!!!!

1. I can but you can’t!

A woman will tell you to keep your shit picked up, such as your clothes and any other annoying item that you may lay at your ass. But tell a woman to keep her shit picked up and it’s like the world is ending.

2. You have flaws but I don’t…

All women are quick to judge the appearance of another and will go out of their way to talk to another person about it. However, if someone says anything about your appearance or even looks at you the wrong way, watch out because you’re about to see the claws come out. I always like it when I hear women ask their men if their ass looks fat in the jeans they are wearing. It would be awesome to hear a man say, just once that yes, your asshole is attempting to eat your jeans and it looks terrible!

What now?!

What now?!

3. Sex when I say, not when you say…

This is my all-time favorite one and probably the most annoying one. Women can give every excuse in the book as to why they shouldn’t be having sex with their significant other. They have headaches, they have a backache, they had a rough day, etc. The list is endless really. Men just take that shit and roll over and go to sleep. However, if a man turns down a woman it’s game on. All of a sudden the man is cheating, or you develop a complex about your body, or he doesn’t love you anymore. You may even cry yourself to sleep. You make the rules to sex but the rules are broken when the roles are reversed. How does that make any sense?

4. We argue on my terms, not your terms.

Women can pick a fight about almost anything. If they have had a shitty day and some asshole at work pissed them off they bring that shit home. Unlike men who will come home and just vent about how shitty their jobs are, women take it to a whole new level of insanity. Everything is suddenly wrong in their world. The house sucks, the kids suck, your significant other sucks and you hate everything about your life. Women start an argument about something petty like the towels not being folded right. But watch the fuck out if you try to tell her that she’s the one that folded the god damn towel that way. By no means should you at any time resort to calling her a bitch or tell her she’s acting like a bitch because now you are feeding the frenzy of terror that she set out to create because of some asshole at work. If a man does anything like this during the course of his marriage or relationship you can bet your ass walking papers are in the works almost immediately!

I bet more than a few men have had this thought...

I bet more than a few men have had this thought…

5. I can look and possibly touch, but if you do it I may cut you…

Women have this idea in their head that we are some sort of superior being to the universe. With that being said, for some unknown reason we are led to believe that it’s almost our duty to go out and flirt like it’s our job. Men on the other hand could potentially get a knife in the face if they so much as even talk to another woman or look sideways at them in the presence of their wife/girlfriend. WTF ladies? How does that work? And men, WTF are you doing flirting with another woman anyway?! See, I did it just now. Complete mind-fuckery at its finest.

I close with this….

The best of making AND breaking the rules!!!

The best of making AND breaking the rules!!!

 

Women make AND break the rules….Part 1

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One of my favorite male bloggers is by far the Opinionated Man. If there would be anyone in the world I could sit down with to match wits with it would most certainly be him.

Last night I got a notification in my email that said he had posted a new blog article entitled, “Male Advice – Men Only – No Women Allowed – Part 1”. Please head on over to his blog by clicking here and read the blurb in all of its glory!

I, of course, had to make a comment. It wasn’t until after I had already made the comment that I realized that he had just pulled a bait and switch on every female that came across this little piece of glorious writing.

Here is my comment, which in hindsight I should have checked for spelling and grammatical errors (here’s to 2 a.m.!):

He had me at "men only"....

He had me at “men only”….

And then this simple yet amazing comment which had me in a panic for making myself be the asshole this time:

Right you are dear Watson....Right you are...

Right you are dear Watson….Right you are…

It hit me like a ton of bricks after that. This post wasn’t designed for men only, it was designed to see how many women simply wouldn’t follow the rules! The funny part about all of this is I didn’t think about how shady women really are until I got sucked into the dark abyss of the Opinionated Man’s mind.

With that I leave you with this to think about:

Nailed it...

Nailed it…

So to all the ladies out there that are saying to themselves that they follow all the rules and don’t make up their own as they go, you my friend are a liar. I just did exactly what I was told not to do because in my lil lady mind I could and no one could stop me.

Trust that I will be following this up with a very sarcastic post about how women make AND break the rules in life and get away with it. It will be epic and cause a stir, which as a blogger is all I can hope for!

 

 

Sun rise, sun set

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For those of you who don’t live with anxiety it’s hard to understand what it must be like. I started a painting to help illustrate how in the minds eye everything is going to shit and burning around you even when there is beautiful things in your life. Understanding an anxiety disorder is impossible. Living with an anxiety disorder is a matter of perspective.

2014-07-10 19.02.00And you want to know the reason I’m having terrible anxiety?! Because this has been happening everyday for a week….

Yep, sending me over the edge!

Yep, sending me over the edge!

It really is the small things…

 

I’ve been neglecting you…

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But don’t worry. That doesn’t mean that all the strange WTF moments have ceased to exist.

This little ditty happened a few weeks ago and I still laugh about it today. I also tell people about it when I remember that it happened which is fairly regular since this type of thing happens A LOT!

An epic conversation with husband one day after a very restless night of sleep….I’m the blue…Just wanted to clarify. I’m not seeing imaginary things…

2014-05-30 09.09.38

I love how things are always in the middle of the night when really it's typically never past 10 p.m.

I love how things are always in the middle of the night when really it’s typically never past 10 p.m.

Drum roll please……..

Like Alice in Wonderland maybe?!

Like Alice in Wonderland maybe?!

Never a dull moment in this house.